Stories and competitions

I'm delighted to announce that my latest foray into the world of writing is now available from Amazon in both Kindle format and paperback - Poisoned By Yew. This is a collection of short stories written over the years, light-hearted, tongue-in-cheek and ideal for that holiday moment or for picking up on the plane or train.

Now that those wonderful Olympics are over for a couple of weeks (until the paralympics arrives in full flow), my thoughts turn to other types of competition, namely writing competitions. I've unearthed a few free-to-enter competitions for you, which leaves you with no excuses for failing to put pen to paper. Go on, give it a try. You've nothing to lose.

Healthy Living magazine is looking for bedtime stories to encourage sleep - so no monsters under the bed, then. Your story needs to be between 1500 and 3000 words in length, any genre except children's stories and erotica. Click here for details. Competition closes on 31st October, so you've [plenty of time to get thinking and writing.

If you can write a complete, interesting and exciting story in six words, then this competition is for you. Closes on 30th September, and first prize is an astonishing £100 or a stay in the Algonquin Hotel in Manhattan.

This next one is for fresh, original stories on any subject, up to 2000 words. Closes on August 25th, but you still have time. Prize is mainly publication and promotion of your work. Click here for details.

And finally, this competition is for stories of no more than 1200 words, and you have to use one of the organisers openign dialogues. You get to choose from three possibilities. This one closes on 30th August. Click here for details.

Needless to say, all your entries must be original. Why not get writing? It could be fun.

Trinity College Choir

Wow! What a scoop by Dickleburgh Church. They have the Trinity College Choir - ranked the 5th best choir in the world - giving a concert on Saturday evening, July 1st, on the eve of their tour to America and Canada. Trinity College Cambridge are patrons of the church, and very generous in many ways. If there are any tickets left, I think I shall have to go. Anyone want to come with me?

Talking about singing and choirs, I've just invested in an online singing course, which you can find at The Singing Zone. It's expensive, but if lesson 1 is anything to go by, well worth the money. It's done by videos, so that it feels just like a one-to-one lesson with the teacher, Per Bristow. I'm already excited by it and looking forward to the future lessons.

Of course, singing is nothing much to do with writing, but as I've just finished an assignment for Redemptorist Publications, I felt justified in a little reward! Hence the singing lessons.

And it's only money, so onwards and upwards, hopefully in good voice!

Diamond Jubilee

It's been an amazing weekend so far. For me it started on Thursday afternoon, when along with a couple of friends, I enjoyed a Jubilee afternoon tea produced by the catering department students at Norwich City College. Tiny sandwiches, scones piled with jam and cream, and delicious shortbread biscuits, together with as much tea as I could drink. Excellent! While there, I took advantage of the table decorations to snaffle a cardboard union jack, which I pinned to my red blouse on the Saturday afternoon.

That occasion was a Jubilee party in Brundall Rectory garden, complete with fun and games, cream teas, and three local choirs. Our choir was on first, and most of us were dressed patriotically in red, white and blue. The weather was kind to us, and all went well.

Yesterday afternoon Ian and I watched the river pageant on the Thames. Well, watched it on television. It was a great spectacle. The Queen and the Duke of Edinburgh stood the whole time - goodness knows how, at 86 and 90 respectively - and looked to be thoroughly enjoying every minute, even though the Queen looked really cold. It reminded me of the coronation sixty years ago, when I received a book - Elizabeth Our Queen - at primary school, and our family trooped next door to watch the coronation on Aunty Esme's brand new, tiny, black-and-white television, bought especially for the occasion (and the first television in the whole street. It was another ten years or so before we had a television.)

In the evening I sang with the Brundall church choir at Brundall's lovely Jubilee service, giving thanks for sixty wonderful years on the throne, and this afternoon Ian and I strolled around the village, admiring the bunting

and cheering on the families engaged in a local Jubilee treasure hunt. Tonight we shall watch the concert from Buckingham Palace - again on television!

It has certainly been a terrific weekend, one to remember, and a fitting tribute to our indefatigable Queen. None of us alive today will ever see a sixty year reign again, and we thank God for our Royal Family and all the (often hidden) work they do for our nation.

Three thoroughly British cheers for Her Majesty and long live the Queen!

Here today...

Here today and gone tomorrow! How things change.

One day last week I filled the car at our local petrol station. It's a Total, so the petrol is relatively cheap (if you can say such a thing about petrol) roughly the same price as Tesco. Of course, you don't get Tesco clubcard points there, but the fact that you don't have to wait for hours in a huge queue, more than compensates.

Imagine my distress when, as I was driving past the very next day, I noticed that the petrol station was closed. Barriers across all the entrances, and heavy machinery already uprooting the pumps. I suppose it was always on the cards, as the accompanying Little Chef closed months ago, but I hadn't expected it, not a word was said the previous day and I hadn't even heard about it on the jungle telegraph.

However, it seems the petrol station will re-open, when it has somehow mysteriously metamorphosed into Shell (more expensive, no clubcard points, not even Nectar points.) Rumour has it that the Little Chef will also re-open, with a botox facelift magically identifying it as MacDonalds, although how that will encourage more customers is anybody's guess. Just outside Norwich, and only half an hour or so from Yarmouth, it just doesn't seem to be in the right place to catch casual custom making for the beach.

Is it my age that gives me a pang when I regret these changes, or is it the probable hit on my wallet? OK, I don't care what sort of petrol I buy, but I do like to find the cheapest possible, I do like it to be local, and I don't like queuing.

I think that says it all.

How strange!

How strange! Yesterday we awoke to bright sunshine and birds singing, today we're back to the dreary downpour which depressed us all (apart from gardeners, farmers, all horticulturists, and those who realise we need rain because we like to eat from time to time) throughout April.

Actually, yesterday's bright sunshine was the second time we awoke. The first time - just before 5.00am - was to hear the rain indoors. We had a flood in the kitchen which seemed to be coming from the washing machine (and no, we hadn't left it on at night, nor any other appliances) in the most awkward spot imaginable.

The washing machine has been in its slot for so long that it seemed to be stuck to the floor, it was that difficult to shift. We managed eventually, only to discover that the flood was nothing to do with the washing machine but coming from some invisible place, and impossible to reach because hidden behind an inaccessible cupboard.

After a brief panic when neither of us could remember where the relevant tap was, Ian located it in the bathroom and turned off the water. I got busy with a mop and bucket and cleared the floor.

Then we went back to bed.

The second time we awoke to bright sunshine and singing birds, called the plumber who advertised in the church magazine, discovered he lived about five minutes away and would be with us directly.

He was.

He found the problem (something had broken on the in-pipe - or something like that), replaced the faulty piece, soldered something onto something else for good measure, and was done and dusted within the hour. Magic!

It left us free to enjoy the rest of the day, so we went visiting. There's nothing better than visiting old friends you haven't seen for a year or so. We had a lovely afternoon drinking tea and chatting over old times with one friend, then dropped in on another who was living in the vicinity and was surprised (but I hope, pleased) to see us.

Today, since the rain has stopped while I've been writing, we're off to Norwich on the bus and are going to treat ourselves to lunch at Prezzo. And as we're retired with nothing better to do, we may take in a film as well.

It's not bad, this life of ours.

Thank you, Tim.

My thanks to my publisher, Tim Runk of CSS Publications, (who also produces and manages my website) for the publication of Volume Two of Children's Stories From The Village Shepherd. I hope you will be as impressed as I am by the cover picture, which clearly links to Volume One but is easily differentiated.

You can read the first few stories online by clicking here and following the links in the left hand column.

As in Volume One, each story is based on a particular gospel reading but is set in modern life or in the fantasy world of talking animals, fairies and pixies.

Originally written with All-Age Worship and Family Services in mind, the stories can be enjoyed by adults as well as children. This volume relates to year C - Luke's gospel - of the Revised Common Lectionary used by mainstream churches.

I do hope you enjoy the stories as much as I enjoyed writing them - and do keep looking out for Volume Three (year A, Matthew's gospel) - to be published in due course.

How things change

As a child, I can remember being astonished when we returned from a holiday and my parents sighed, saying, "Isn't it lovely to be home again!" I thought it was anything but lovely. I would have much preferred to be still playing in the sand, or swimming in the sea, or walking in the country.

That was then. This is now. And now I'm sighing with relief and saying, "Isn't it lovely to be home again!"

We had a great time in Lanzarote with our good friends, G&T, covering most of the island during our time there. The Grand Tour was a brilliant day out, taking us to the geo-thermal fire mountains in the National Park, the stunningly beautiful Jamios Del Agua cave area, the valley of palms, and the camel safari. And no, I did not ride a camel, merely took pictures of others.

We managed a lot of walking during the fortnight, so it really has been a kind of final rehabilitation for Ian, who has now signed up to play golf later this month.

Our youngest daughter (the one who lives in Belgium) was in residence upon our return home, so the homecoming was doubly welcome, and we had a fairly big family party last Saturday, which was exhausting but good.

Now the preparations are well in hand for Easter. I took a service on Sunday morning, have a service on Maundy Thursday evening (but playing golf in the morning) and have two services on Easter Day. Oh, and another family get-together on Saturday.

All in all, a great time, terrific to be home, but kind of looking forward to a return to normality.

P.S. A bit of good news - I should receive copies of my second volume of Children's Stories any day now - thank you, Tim.

Final rehabilitation

Ian and I are off to Lanzarote tomorrow, for his final little piece of rehabilitation prior to rejoining the real world - i.e. the golf course. We both hope he'll feel fit enough to play again when we return, especially as England should have warmed up nicely by then. That's my excuse for a great holiday, anyway. We hope to get in plenty of walking as well as seeing the sights and generally lazing around. Personally I can't wait to feel the sun on my back and to see that luscious blue water just urging me to jump in.

Naturally I'm taking my gorgeous Blackberry Playbook, so I'm going to try to blog now and again hopefully with some photos, if I can find any free broadband. Not sure how wired Lanzarote is, since I suspect sun, sea and sand are more to the point over there. They will be for us, anyway.

We're going with friends, packs of cards and the gin and tonic, so life should be fun. When we return, I really will get down to writing again. Honestly.

Hotel Marigold

Ian and I took a jaunt into Norwich yesterday to see The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel. Despite the very early timing (11.50am) the cinema was packed with senior citizens, all roaring with laughter at this excellent film. We followed it with a delicious meal at Bella Italia , then a leisurely bus journey home.

Retirement is very good.

For those of you who prefer to stay at home glued to your computer, here's the latest Apple Ipad news:

The new Ipad was formerly unveiled in San Francisco last night. This 3rd Generation iPad is running a dual-core processor with quad-core graphics. That means it's good. Processor speed is a tad slower than some tablets, but the retail price of £390 is kind of reasonable, I suppose (although more than twice as much as the wonderful - to me at any rate - Blackberry Playbook.)

The screen resolution on the new Ipad is brilliant - 2048 x 1536 if you're into technicalities - and this makes it yet again the highest quality tablet screen on the market and much higher than the resolution to be defined as HD.

Also new to the iPad is a 5-megapixel camera which is pretty darn good and almost the best around when it comes to tablets. It can record video in HD and has a stabilisation feature where a shaky hand won't lead to shaky videos. Fantastic! Just right for people like me.

A great new feature on the iPad is the microphone, which allows you to dictate rather than type. There's now a microphone button on the iPad keyboard.

One thing that didn't change as much as was expected is the size and shape, with an almost identical shape that is just slightly thicker and also a little bit heavier. This makes room for the ever-so-slightly-larger new parts inside the new iPad.

As always, you can expect to find new iPad accessories such as a new iPad case range at GearZap.com, plus a lot of other really good stuff. Take a visit over there and have a look for yourself.

As for me, well, I'm sticking with my lovely Blackberry Playbook. I like the smaller size and it works brilliantly with my Blackberry phone. At the moment, Ipads don't tempt me. Not too much, anyway.

It is Lent, after all.

Calling Christian wannabe writers!

If you're a Christian and you fancy having a go at some writing, check out this annual competition.

It's for Christian short stories of upto 4,000 words (that's not nearly as daunting as it sounds) on any theme and in any genre, so long as they have a strong Christian content. So you can write a romance for Valentine's Day, or a historical drama, or a murder/mystery, or sci-fi - whatever you like, provided you have a Christian message.

The top prize is £150 plus guaranteed publishing, and short-listed titles may be published too. It costs £4.00 to enter, but that's a fairly low investment should you win, and not too much to lose if your story isn't chosen.

If you fancy your hand at something longer, the same site is running a Christian romance novel competition, and again, non-winning titles may be published. There is also an open short story competition - in other words, on any theme without necessarily a Christian message - and there's even a section for young writers.

The closing date for all these competitions is 31st March, so as you're sitting there this weekend, trying to ignore the snow and keep warm, why not turn your attention to writing a short story? Stories are fantastic vehicles for Christian witness, as the master story-teller himself showed us, and who knows? Writing a successful short story may inspire you to go even further and attempt that novel you always planned to write!

Golf and gadgets

Golf and gadgets, but they don't necessarily go together. Not in this case, anyway.

I played golf this morning for the first time since Ian's illness - he's now well enough to be left to his own devices, I'm happy to say. Only played nine holes, but it was glorious out there in the sunshine. Not the golf you understand, just being out there. Actually, despite the mud, the golf was reasonable enough to inspire me to want to get out there again as soon as possible, and maybe even work up to eighteen holes. And Ian hopes to be back playing again by April, which is even better news.

Then there was a lovely surprise waiting when I got home. A couple of accessories for my wonderful Blackberry Playbook had been delivered. Well, you can't have these things without accessories, can you? That's my excuse, anyway.

I'd been wanting a cover, just to protect the Playbook mostly when travelling. One of the big advantages of the Playbook is that it's small enough to slip into a handbag or pocket, yet still big enough to use easily, so is ideal for taking on holiday. It comes with its own fabric case, but to be honest, that wouldn't give too much protection against knocks and bangs.

The BlackBerry PlayBook case delivered this morning is much more substantial, with a leather appearance but a rigid design to protect the Playbook against accidents. For me, the drawback of this type of envelope case is that you have to physically remove the Playbook from the case in order to use it. I would prefer a design I can just flip open, so that I can use the Playbook from within the case. That said though, this case is good and strong, ideal for travelling and would be perfect for an Apple ipad too. And it comes at a reasonable price, thank goodness.

But that's not all. The other gadget is brilliant. Although the Playbook has speakers which are perfectly good enough for Ian and me as we have a small room, it did occur to me that for a larger space, external speakers would be a good idea, speakers, moreover, which are small enough to be portable.

Rejoice with me, for I am now the proud owner of the neatest, cleverest little speaker sytem I have ever seen. The Pocket Boom fits into the palm of my tiny hand (and yes, my hands are abnormally tiny - I can never get gloves to fit).
You connect the Pocket Boom to your Playbook, flip off the lid from the device and pull out a long lead with a small, circular, sticky pad on the end. You stick the pad onto any covenient surface - empty bottle, cardboard box, coffee mug, whatever - and that object is immediately transformed into a high quality speaker. Isn't that clever? Something to do with vibrations, if you're into all that technical stuff. It runs on two AA batteries, or you can attach it to your computer with a USB connection.

It's a tad tricky to prise the jack from the device in order to connect it to the Playbook, even for tiny fingers! But if I can manage it, anyone can. The gadget gives a terrific sound, and I can't wait to go on holiday (and thus into a larger room) to hear my music. To my mind, the only disadvantage is that it comes with a couple of extra leads and a few spare sticky pads, but nowhere to keep them. Now I need another gadget - a little bag to house the lot. Still, for £20, my new speaker system is excellent value for money, and I'm delighted.

Golf, a Playbook case and amazing speakers - life can't be bad!

Marmalade, AGM, and work

Yesterday I made marmalade and attended Dunston Hall Ladies' Golf Club AGM, not necessarily in that order. It was good. The AGM, that is. Actually the marmalade was pretty good too, in that it set and is now safely stashed away in the cupboard. It's an ancient recipe, handed down from my mother and her mother before her, and probably from way back when the English first started using Seville oranges. Don't know when that was, may (or may not) relate to the Spanish Armada. Definitely historical marmalade though, and no, that doesn't describe the taste. I hope.

Amyway, back to the AGM. Not usually my favourite event - in fact I normally avoid AGMs at all costs - but I haven't been near the golf club since the summer due to Ian's illness, so it seemed like a good opportunity to pick up the threads once again.

It was great to meet old friends there, and especially great when I discovered that I can play winter golf for free as long as I rejoin the club in January. What's more, if both Ian and I rejoin, I get free passes for the Leisure Centre (Ian's not the least bit interested, but I like to swim when I can, which is seldom.) A deal not to be missed, so we're down to the club tomorrow to seal the deal, and I'm playing on Thursday for the first time in six months.

Life is gradually returning to normal, and I picked up some work from a neighbouring priest who needs cover for several Sundays between now and Easter. Rather nice to be able to work when you want to.

I like retirement.

A first!

Yes, that’s a first for me. I’m just back from taking the Holy Communion service at Hemblington this morning, and preached from my new Blackberry Playbook. It was a bit scary as I’m not yet totally confident it won’t freeze at the worst possible moment (it hasn’t frozen since I had it, but with computers that’s no guarantee), or run out of battery (I charged it up fully last night, just in case), or refuse to go on at all (again, it’s never done that).

It was Paul, our rector, who suggested I might want to use the tablet in church. Until then, it hadn’t occurred to me, but when I thought about it, I was hooked. Saves all that paper, and I can easily transfer documents from my laptop to the tablet.

So there I was, preaching from the Playbook, which is A5 size and can be used in either portrait or landscape mode. All went well until I inadvertently touched something (don’t know what) that brought the keyboard onto the screen, thus obscuring some of the text I was trying to read. It was a slightly panicky moment, but I managed to get rid of the keyboard without too much trouble.

I shall now use the PLaybook in church for all the services I take. It’s given me wonderful justification for buying it in the first place, for now I can claim it’s not just play. I need it for work as well!